A Gundam Wing Chibi-fic
By Sam Brannon
Act III
*Back in the Nursery, the Chibis are gathered around a board game. At the moment, their concentration isn't on the game, but rather on Duo's scheme.*
Chibi Heero: *rolling the dice* Karate? Isn't that for grown-ups? *He looks down at the number, and moves his piece four spaces.*
Chibi Duo: *shrug* Hilde took it.
Chibi Heero: *blink* How d' you know THAT?
Chibi Duo: EEP! Uh... I uh... I heard her say it to Wufei! *He turns to Wufei with a stern glance* Right?!
Chibi Wufei: *quickly* Right! *puts his hands up defensively*
*To their relief, the conversation takes a turn.*
Chibi Trowa: What do you think a Karate Class is like, anyway?
Chibi Quatre: *blinking* What's this "Karate" stuff? Is it like baseball?
Chibi Heero: Uh, not really. S'more like fightin', I think.
Chibi Quatre: *horrified* FIGHTIN'?! You shouldn't be learnin' how to do that! All it does is teach you how to hurt people n' make kids cry n' be a bully n'...
Chibi Wufei: *takes the dice and interrupts him* Well, you don't havta go, Quatre. *He tosses them and moves his piece about three more spaces than the number he rolled, since nobody seems to be paying attention.*
Chibi Quatre: *slightly relieved* I know... but... *he trails off*
Chibi Trowa: If it's fightin', I think I'll pass... I think Melody said somethin' about a gymnastics class not far from here, n' I've always wanted to do that. It'll help me when I go join the circus when I grow up.
Chibi Duo: *grinning from ear to ear* Wonder when they'll teach us how t'shoot fireballs from our hands?
Chibi Heero: *stares at Duo as if he's just grown two feet and sprouted horns* What makes you think they'll teach us how t'do THAT?
Chibi Duo: *enthusiastically* C'mon! Everyone who takes Karate learns how t'do that!
*The scene dissolves to Duo's imagination, where he, Heero, and Wufei are squaring off against three faceless men twice, possibly thrice their size. Instead of their normal clothing, they are dressed in uniforms with nonsensical symbols on the back. (Duo's uniform being the befitting black, whilst Heero sports a green and black uniform, and Wufei a red one.) The fight against the men is going 100 miles an hour as every technique flies, and seems to go on forever to the viewer. Ultimately, the Chibis do a series of impossible gymnastics to distance themselves from their opponents*
Chibi Duo: *puts his hands together to one side, and spiritual energy begins to radiate from his palms* MEGA ULTRA WAY COOL HONOLULU FIRE WAVE BUSTER!!
*Heero and Wufei follow suit, sans the faux attack announcement. Three powerful blasts fly from their hands, striking the imaginary men head-on. Each of them give a Victory sign and grin. At that, the scene returns to reality, where Duo is standing with both palms outstretched.*
Chibi Duo: BOOM! Ha ha!
*The other Chibis stare at him and blink.*
Chibi Duo: Man, I c'n hardly WAIT 'till they teach us that!
*Wufei is shaking his head. Duo notices.*
Chibi Duo: *arms folded, giving him a glare* What're ya doin' that for, Wufei?
Chibi Wufei: A Karate Class isn't gonna be like that at all. E-SPE-SHUL-LY not for us, 'cuz we're jus' kids. They prolly teach the fireball stuff jus' to the grown-ups, 'cuz they're afraid us kids'll blow up th' schools with it when nobody's there.
*Duo blinks. He has a point, it seems.*
Chibi Heero: *disappointed* Man... that's right. I bet Melody told all the Karate teachers what we'd do if we learned how t'do that, so there's no way we'd ever learn it.
Chibi Wufei: *nodding* I bet they don't even teach us that anyway... I bet we have to go all the way to Japan or something.
Chibi Trowa: Why Japan?
Chibi Wufei: 'Cuz that's where all the Karate instructors live. When ya take Karate ya havta live at some old Japanese man's house. An' he keeps giving you advice as you train...
Old Man: *in heavily accented voice, and the viewer notes that the words spoken don't match his lips* Remember, my students! You... catchmoreflies with honey... than withvinegar! There is... no "I" inteam! You... must... become... likeWATER!
Chibi Wufei: *his words also not matching his lips* But how... dowedothat?
Old Man: Think, ... mystudents! Water .... flows! Water.... waves! ...Water...
Chibi Wufei: *light bulb above his head* ... Water falls!
*At that, each of them commence climbing up the walls and dropping to the dojo floor from the rafters repeatedly. Fading back into reality, Wufei is flat on the floor.*
Chibi Heero: C'MON! It's spos'd t'be a Karate class, not a pro wrestlin' class!
Chibi Quatre: Yeah... besides, Wufei, the last time you climbed up the wall, you got sent to time out!
Chibi Wufei: *defensively, looking up* That's 'cuz I sneezed! Meldoy woulnd'a notic'd I was there if there was no dust on the shelves!
Chibi Duo: An' besides, if ya go to live at some ol' man's house to learn Karate, doesn't he make ya wax his cars n' sand the floor n' stuff?
Chibi Trowa: Yeah... 'cept it's spos'd to teach you Karate the way he makes you do it.
Chibi Duo: *fascinated* So all this time, the car-penners who were buildin' the houses on the other block've been doin' Karate while they work?
*Short pause*
Everyone: Nahhhh...
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