The windows were open, letting in the fresh air on this glorious day and letting out the music of a chirping bird. Gedney the green parakeet was brightly singing every whistle and sound he knew how to imitate. He sang like the family’s three other indoor birds and like the outdoor birds as well. He knew how to make the sounds of John’s PDA and he threw in his two newest sounds, a squeaky balloon sound and ringing like the phone, at random. Gedney was John’s Father’s Day present and he named him Gedney at the chibis’ insistence since they said that a green parakeet reminded them of a Gedney pickle.
Duo, Heero and Wufei were sitting in a row on the top porch step. Relena was swinging on the porch swing because there was no room for her to sit beside Heero; her dollies had to keep her company since Heero had refused to join her when she asked him to.
“Ooh, look!” Relena exclaimed. “Somebody’s gonna move into the house ‘cross the street!”
They watched the truck back into the driveway and saw the movers open the doors and start unloading furniture. They became really interested when two children’s bicycles appeared.
“They’ve got kids!” Relena stated the very, very obvious, as she usually did. “I hope they’re girls!”
“Naw, those are boys bikes,” Wufei told her.
Milliardo came around from the side of the house. “Time to eat. Better get washed up.”
Relena's dreams of having another girl for she and Hilde to play with were dashed; she grabbed her dolls and went into the house. Wufei and Heero followed her but Duo didn’t move.
“C’mon, Duo,” said Heero.
“In a minute, in a minute,” Duo answered crossly, and to himself he grumbled, "Why do we always hafta go in the house just when things start to get inter'sting?'
After Duo was reminded twice to come and eat he decided he’d better mind before he got in trouble. He grabbed the mail out of the mailbox as an excuse for taking so long to do what he was told.
“Hey, Gedney, look!” said Duo as he let the screen door slam shut behind him. “You've got mail.” He waved a postcard in front of Gedney's cage and then gave it to Melody and showed her that their pretty green parakeet had indeed received his first snail mail.
“I wonder how Gedney got on the Gedney pickle factory’s mailing list?”
Heero knew, but he said nothing.
Tegan took the unexpected message from her mother.
“What’s it say?” Relena asked anxiously.
“It has a coupon for a dollar off of their brand of pickles and,” she turned the card over and an expression of disbelief appeared on her face, “a recipe for batter-dipped, deep-fat fried pickles.”
“Ewww!” Relena lost all interest in Gedney’s mail.
“Ooh! That sounds cool!” Duo enthused. “Can we make some?”
“No,” Tegan and Melody answered simultaneously.
“Why not?” the adventuresome chibi wanted to know.
“Just…no,” Melody told him. “No.”
Duo knew better than to argue with his webmommie when she spoke with the Tone of Finality, which said the issue was not negotiable and he’d better drop the subject. Now.
“We don’t got no pickles anyhow,” Wufei informed Duo.
“So it’s just as well,” said Treize, ever practical.
“Time for lunch,” Tegan said cheerfully.
Duo scowled into the kitchen.
Part Two: In a Real Pickle
It was a relief to Melody when the youngest chibis decided to spend the afternoon at Hilde’s place because she didn’t want them alienating their new neighbors before they’d even gotten a chance to move into their house. She knew Howard was there to supervise them. So the afternoon was quiet and peaceful, the only noise being Gedney practicing his repertoire, until there was a knock on the door.
“Hi, I’m Trisha Elric, your new neighbor,” said a pretty young woman.
“I’m Melody. Would you like to come in and have some iced tea? You must be exhausted.”
“I am but I’d better not,” she said as Duo, Wufei and Heero stumbled up the steps, holding their stomachs and groaning. “My boys aren’t feeling well but I thought I should bring your boys home.”
“What’s wrong?” Melody asked the three little ones.
“Duo talked Howard into makin' us those fried pickles,” said Wufei.
“You wanted him to too, you know,” Duo shot back.
“But that shouldn’t make you sick,” Melody said.
“I’m afraid they had a pickle eating contest. I’d better go now and see to my boys,” Trisha nodded in the direction of her front yard where two little boys were miserably starting to turn green.
“A pickle eating contest!” Melody was mortified. What a way to meet the neighbors! “You boys should know better than that.”
“It’s my Edward’s fault; it was his idea.” Trisha was mortified. What a way to meet the neighbors! “I can’t apologize enough.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Melody assured her. “They’ll all live.”
“No, we won’t,” Duo groaned.
“How many pickles did you eat?”
“Twelve,” said Duo.
Melody rolled her eyes. “What about you two?”
“Ten,”
Wufei answered, looking as green as his new friends did.
“’Leven an’ a haf,” said Heero. “I jus’ couldn’t eat any more.”
“So I won!”
Duo tried to do his usual victory dance but decided he’d better not when he felt his stomach lurch a little.
“You sure did! Howard made all those pickles for you?”
“Yup,” Wufei told her. “An’ he said, ‘Go to town, kiddies! I’ve got some work to do in the garage if you need anythin’.’ So we did.”
"Spite a the fact that he called us 'kiddies,'" Heero added. Wufei nodded in solemn agreement.
Melody remembered that Howard loved to make experimental food, especially anything-on-a-stick, such as these fried pickles. Hilde seemed to survive it all well enough, though.
Trowa, Quatre and Relena ducked under Trisha’s arm and went into the house, not looking at all like the ones who were sick from eating too many of the deep-fried delicacy.
“Did you three eat any of the pickles?” Melody asked.
“Yeah,” Trowa answered.
“But you don’t look sick at all.”
“We’re not,” responded Quatre. “We only had two pickles each.”
“An’ they were dee-licious!” Relena chimed in. “I thought they’d be really yucky but Hilde liked ‘em so I tried ‘em too.”
“It was those guys an’ the two new boys that had the contest,” Trowa clarified.
Trisha looked as though she wished the porch floor would open up and swallow her. “My boys do things like this all the time, I hate to admit,” she sighed, “even though I try my best to keep them out of trouble.”
Melody laughed, which puzzled the embarrassed young mom. “Mine do too! Your boys will fit in really well here.” Melody shook Trisha’s hand, knowing that she’d found a kindred spirit, or at least another harassed mother. “Welcome to the neighborhood.”
Gedney sang and sang and sang. Nothing ever bothered him.
The End
Thanks to M.A. Gedney Co. for the snail mail to our little parakeet Gedney, which he received this week. The recipe for the batter-dipped, deep-fat fried pickles was on the card. John says they’re delicious, and shouldn't make anyone sick unless they are involved in a pickle eating contest. If you do that, you're on your own. ^_^
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Gedney
Want to know more about Gedney? Then go read Who in the World is Gedney?, which is an interview by Ed Pillow and Al Pillow at our Fullmetal Alchemist Insomnia site.
Want to go to the Disguise Gedney! page? There you can choose disguises for Special Agent Gedney and his trusty sidekicks, Ed Pillow and Al Pillow, to wear on their secret missions.
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~Standard Disclaimer~
The author does not claim ownership of Gundam Wing nor any of its characters, including the adorable chibis. She doesn't own Fullmetal Alchemist nor any of its characters either.
