Heero walked down a set of stairs, He came to the bottom of the staircase and shook his head again and walked to a window and looked out. Again he saw another image of his past. There stood Dekim Barton and Dr. J in front of an eight year old Heero. After messing up, Dekim bent down and smacked the young boy down to the ground. And when the boy tried to get up, Dekim kicked him down again. Heero clenched his teeth, made a fist, and put it through the window.

Duo and Quatre woke up when they heard the shattering glass. The both walked out of their rooms, looked first at each other, then to where the noise was came from. Downstairs, Heero looked at his now bloody hand. It symbolized to him, the pain and suffering he had gone through, and still was going through. He walked away from the now broken window. Quatre and Duo walked down the flight of stairs where they first heard the shattering glass, and discovered that the window had been broken. Duo looked down and saw blood and pointed this out to Quatre. There also appeared to be a trail of drips of blood, leading away from the window, and they both followed them.

Heero walked outside, hoping that just maybe that the night air would calm his nerves, and stop the images of his past. But this wasn't so. Heero saw himself, holding the detonation button, walking away from the base which he had just blown up. He saw the mobile suit fall, killing everyone in that building, discovering the little girl’s teddy bear, burying her dead dog. Then saw the peacekeepers he accidentally killed because of an OZ trick. He saw the innocent people he had killed when he first tried out the new type of gundam, Epyon. So many innocents, he could not take any of this anymore. He took a handgun out, which he had found in the weapons cabinet, put it to his forehead and shot off the gun.

Wu Fei and Trowa woke up when they heard the gunshot and ran downstairs to find out who had shot off a gun. They had met up with Duo and Quatre, who were just as surprised to hear the shot. The followed the bloods trail to the weapons cabinet and found it open. While taking some pistols, the other gundam pilots wondered where Heero had gone. Surely he would have heard the gunshot and he would be the first to go after who ever fired the gun. But with the weapons cabinet open and Heero missing, they all ran outside to where the gun shot came from. There, they all saw a sight, which they didn't want to see.

Hidden behind a table, Heero sat on the ground with his knees up to his chest, hiding his face in his arms, which were around his knees. He had quickly changed his aim and shot the wall two inches from his head. The gun he used was next to him, along with some blood from his hand. Wu Fei thought this whole scene was pathetic; Trowa and Duo couldn't believe it and Quatre knew something was wrong. He took a step closer to Heero and suddenly stopped. Heero looked up and this shocked even Wu Fei. It appeared the he'd been crying, something the gundam pilots thought he couldn't do. He was the Perfect Soldier after all and he wasn't supposed to have emotions. But even the Perfect Soldier can have feelings.

Heero stood up and turned away from the others and began walking. Quatre began to follow him, hoping that maybe he'd be able to help him. But Duo told him he should be left alone, especially now. Heero walked up to another window and looked at his reflection.

His reflection revealed his pathetic state, and he was appalled at the sight. He should have put an end to it all, he shouldn’t have missed, he thought. It began to rain and Heero thought that perhaps God was feeling pity towards him. He looked back at the others, and Duo and Quatre advanced a bit toward him. Heero turned completely around to see the last image of his horrible past, the images flicked in his mind. All the pain and suffering he had caused, his own pain, his horrible training, all of the fighting. Trowa and Wu Fei moved closer, as Heero looked up at the sky. They stopped. Heero closed his eyes, clenched his fists and screamed one last scream for all the pain he felt and never could express.

The End

This songfic was based on the song, "Crawling" by Linkin Park.

Standard disclaimer: The author does not own Gundam Wing nor any of its characters. Gundam Wing belongs to Sunrise, Sotsu Agency and TV Asahi.

GO BACK TO GUNDAM WING FANFIC

GO TO THE MAIN PAGE OF THE SHOOTING STARS COLLECTION: A GUNDAM WING IMAGE ARCHIVE