Part Seven
Chibi Wufei's Gallery Introduction
The next morning. Melody, Tegan and the chibis are at the breakfast table, with the exception of Relena and Duo.
Tegan: (calls pleasantly from the bottom of the stairs) Relena! Duo! Breakfast is on the table. We're waiting for you so we can say grace.
Duo & Relena: Coming!
Duo comes thundering down the stairs, braid flying. Relena takes dainty steps and holds onto the railing, so it takes her a little longer.
Duo: (plops down in his chair) Sorry. Relena was bein' real fussy with my hair. Don't know WHAT her problem was--she's probly braided it a hunderd times by now.
Trowa pulls Relena's chair out from the table and helps her get seated.
Relena: Thanks, Trowa. Treize is helpin' you get to be a Real Gennleman.
Trowa smiles shyly and returns to his seat.
Relena is seated between Quatre and Trowa. She is directly across the table from Heero so she can gaze adoringly upon him while he eats--and there's nothing he can do about it. They have assigned seats.
Relena: But doesn't Duo's hair look pretty? Duo, turn around so everyone can see.
Duo shrugs and turns his head. Everyone bursts out laughing except for Duo and Relena.
Duo: (whips back around) WHAT?! (looks at everyone wildly)
Relena: What's so funny? I think it's pretty.
Duo: What's wrong with it? She didn't put a BOW on it, did she? (checks quickly, sigh of relief)
Heero: (puts his hand on Duo's shoulder consolingly) Hate to break this to you, pal (smiles one of his rare smiles) but you've got the prettiest French Braid I've ever seen.
More laughter.
Duo: (grabs his hair with both hands and tries to feel what's wrong with it) French Braid! What's that?!
Trowa: It's the kind Tegan makes for Relena sometimes.
Duo: You mean that funny looking braid?
Heero: Yep.
Duo:
Relena: Tegan taught me how to French Braid yesterday when I was bored. I got tired of doin' the same old braid for you every day, so I 'cided to make this pretty one. (to Tegan and Melody) He won't play Beauty Shop with me so the only time I get to braid his hair is in the mornin'.
Tegan: I didn't know you wanted to know how to French Braid so you could braid Duo's hair that way. You didn't tell me that.
Relena: Didn't I? Sorry.
Duo: I'll NEVER let you braid my hair 'gain! (rips off the rubber band and starts frantically unbraiding his hair, mutters) Sometimes girls do the Dumbest Things.
Relena starts to cry.
Melody: (sternly) Duo...
Everyone stares disapprovingly at Duo for making Relena cry--even Heero.
Treize: Duo, she is not dumb. A gentleman must never say such demeaning things about a lady.
Duo: She's not a lady--she's a GIRL! And who wants to be a gennleman anyways?
Quatre: (pats Relena's hand) Don't cry, Relena. You know he says stuff like that when he's mad, even though he's not 'sposed to. I don't think he really means it.
Relena: (sob) But he won't let me braid his hair anymore (sob) and I like to do that. (sob)
Trowa: I'm sure he'll let you if you promise to do it the way you always did.
Milliardo: WON'T YOU, DUO?
Duo is silent.
Milliardo: WELL?
Duo: Yeah, alright--but NO MORE Funny Stuff, okay?
Relena nods.
Duo: Will ya promise? Cross yer heart?
Relena: Uh huh. Cross my heart.
Duo: Okay. Just 'member, you PROMISED.
Relena: I will. (hiccup) I was just tryin' to make it pretty. (hiccup)
Duo: Everything don't GOTTA be pretty! Why do girls always think that? I'll NEVER unnerstand girls!
Heero: Join the club, Duo. NONE of us will.
Duo: You're probly right.
Quatre:
Relena: Ya think so? Truly? (the tears start to dry up)
Quatre: Yes, but I don't think Duo WANTS to be pretty.
Duo: Ya got THAT right!
Wufei: Relena, boys don't wear French Braids. It isn't Manly.
Relena: Why not? They wear reg'lar braids and ponytails. Is THAT Manly?
Duo: (impatiently) It's just something boys DON'T DO, okay?
Treize:
Duo folds his arms and looks cross. His hair is flying in every direction.
Duo: (to Relena) I'm not the ONLY one here that gots long hair, ya know. Why don't you ask yer BROTHER to play Beauty Shop with you?
Relena: (brightens, tears gone) Milliardo, will you--?
Milliardo: (grabs his hair protectively) No way! (to Melody, changes the subject quickly) Can we pray now so we can eat?
Breakfast is over.
Wufei: Can I do my intro now?
Melody: In a minute. I have to finish braiding Duo's hair.
Duo: (to Wufei) Yeah--she don't know HOW to make those funny-lookin' braids, so she's GOTTA do it the Right Way. (to Melody) Ya know, I shoulda known SOMETHIN' was fishy when Heero smiled when he was gonna tell me 'bout that funny braid 'cause he 'most NEVER smiles.
Melody: There you go--all finished.
Duo jumps up and runs to look in the mirror--just in case.
Duo: That's GREAT! (looks puzzled) Say, Melody, how come Treize 'n Milliardo didn't get new jammies like we did?
Melody: They did.
Duo: But I didn't see 'em wearin' animal jammies.
Melody: We didn't get animal jammies for them.
Heero: Why?
Melody: Because they're older. Animal jammies don't come in their sizes.
Duo: (whispers to Heero) So THAT'S how they got out of it!
Heero:
Duo: An' QUICK! Did ya think of a good hidin' place for 'em?
Heero: Not yet, but I'm workin' on it.
Melody: Okay, Wufei. We're ready for you now.
Wufei: FINELY, it's my turn now. It's 'bout time. If Duo and Heero had just been haved yesterday there would've been time for me to do my interduction before we hadta go to bed. Anyway, thank you for visiting my pitcher gall'ry. I'm sure you will enjoy the pics of me, but for some reason (looks significantly toward Melody) there's not as many pitchers of me as there are in the other boys' gall'ries. (to Melody) Do you have a reasonable explanation for this?
Melody: You are really putting me on the spot, Wufei.
Wufei: That's alright. I can wait. I've got nothin' else to do.
Relena: Yes you do. You gotta finish your interduction.
Wufei stares at her until she understands the meaning of his glare: Shut up, Relena! It takes a little time. When everything "clicks" Relena puts her thumb in her mouth. Wufei is satisfied that she has gotten the message.
Wufei: (arms crossed, to Melody) Well...?
Melody: You see, Wufei, there just aren't as many pictures available of you as I would have liked to get for the Archive. When I find more I WILL add them to your gallery. Okay?
Wufei: I guess that will have to do. If any of our guests happen to have some good pictures of me, will you share 'em with us? You could e-mail 'em to the webmistresses at webmommie@gmail.com. Then the gall'ries of the five pilots will be more in balance, as they SHOULD BE. I am 'specially intersted in my Endless Waltz images. (look of reproach in Melody's direction) That gallery is REALLY PA-THE-TIC! You'd think, in an image archive of this mag-nee-tude--I heard Treize call it that the other day--that she'd be able to get more pitchers of ME.
Melody: I really tried, Wufei. The problem was that when I was specifically searching for more pictures of you that I also found ones of the other boys that I liked.
Wufei: You didn't HAFTA take the pictures of THEM, you know. Nobody made you.
Melody: I know. I couldn't help myself. That's how the Archive got to be so big. We were collecting pictures to make scrapbooks and when we realized how many pictures we had, Tegan suggested that we put the pictures on the Web because we have such a nice collection that she thought we should share them with other fans. I really DID try to make your gallery as large as I could, Wufei.
Wufei: What about your private files? Do they have more pitchers of me? There's gotta be HUNDERDS of pictures in there--SOME of them HAFTA be of me.
Melody: Of course there are, but how did you find out about the private files? You haven't figured out the password for the computer, have you?
Wufei: Not YET--Heero knows it but HE won't tell me. (looks at Heero triumphantly)
Heero looks at the floor, shoulders slumped.
Duo: (nudges Heero) You're in trouble NOW--I mean AGAIN.
Heero: (mutters miserably) THANKS A LOT, Wufei.
Duo:
Heero: I would if I could find it. I've looked EV'RYWHERE.
Duo: No you didn't--else you'd a found it by now.
Melody turns back to Wufei. She'll deal with Heero later.
Melody: You didn't tell me how you found out about the private files.
Wufei: I saw them over your shoulder the other day. Why can't we use them?
Melody: Because there are pictures by some artists who don't want their pictures used on the Web without their permission. That's why they're not included in the Archive. If anyone owns pictures we're using and doesn't want to share them in the Archive, they should write me a nice e-mail and I will remove the picture. (Absolutely no need to be nasty.) If they just want credit for the pics I'm willing to do that too. Anything I have to remove from the Archive, for whatever reason, will go into my private files.
Wufei: Well, I hope you can find more pitchers of me SOON. I really hate having such a PA-THE-TIC gall'ry. (leaves the room in a huff)
Melody: (turns to face Heero) Now, Young Man, I want to know how you got the password for my computer.
Heero: (gulp)Well, um...it's like this--
The doorbell rings.
Wufei: (calls from the next room) I'll get it!
Melody: (calls back) Okay!
Heero: N-no--let me.
Heero jumps up and quickly heads for the door.
Melody: Oh no you don't.
Melody catches him and carries him back to his chair.
Melody: You stay right there.
Heero: But--
Melody: Wufei is a big boy. He can answer the door all by himself. He doesn't need your help.
Heero looks at the floor.
Melody: Well...
Heero: (slowly) I'm tryin' to think of just the right words...
Duo: You mean you're tryin' to think of just the right excuse.
Heero looks murderously at Duo.
Wufei walks into the room carrying a box labeled Overnight Express Mail--Urgent.
Duo: Who's it for?
Wufei: I can't read it. There's too many big words.
Treize: Here, let me.
Heero stands up.
Melody: Let me see that. (removes the packing slip and reads) Item one: one package heavy-duty batteries, rechargable. Item two: one battery charger.
Heero starts slowly edging toward the door.
Melody: Item three: one compact beam saber!
Duo: (to Heero) I'd make a run for it if I was you.
Heero scoots out the door as fast as his little legs can carry him.
Melody: Hey! Get back here you little assassin! You used my credit card! (takes off in hot pursuit)
Relena: (takes her thumb out of her mouth) Run, Heero!
Wufei: I've never seen her move so fast!
Duo:
Wufei: He probly won't get dessert for a month.
Duo:
GO TO THE MAIN PAGE OF THE SHOOTING STARS COLLECTION: A GUNDAM WING IMAGE ARCHIVE
